Emotions!!

Okay so the last two days have pretty much been miserable for me!! Please allow me to vent for a minute! Yesterday was my third inspection for the quarter at work! (I have passed the other two with flying colors and high remarks from the higher ups). I got to work with every ambition to help accomplish the list I had made the previous day. This list consisted of things that are standard procedure and also some of nitty gritty work...such as cleaning the air vents in the ceiling, changing air filters, and other major tasks! Sure enough on a day that you have a million things to do and a huge delivery coming in...something is bound to go wrong! Recently they changed our coremark invoicing over to an electronic system. Supposedly it is suppose to take like two minutes to get all of the coremark invoices in the system..(usually a daunting 30 minute task). Naturally, the first time I try to use the sytem I end up with corrupt files...so I called I.T the first time...calm, relaxed almost in a sarcastic tone. Round about the tenth time I had to call I.T. I wasn't so calm, relaxed nor was I even remotely sarcastic!! Meanwhile, I am trying to get everything ready for this PLANNED inspection! By the time 6:30pm came around I was virtually in tears and needed to just go home! So I did!! BIG MISTAKE!! I failed my inspection!! By the time they had come around to do the inspection we had ran out of food on the warmer and we were down to only two Roast beef sandwiches!! I knew this would probably happen...I actually told myself I should stay and make more food!! Even though it is not necessarily my responsibility to make food....as the Director I should have done it before I left and then reemed the Foodservice Manager out the next day! But, I was so exhausted and emotional that I left. So, I kick myself now for allowing myself to fail! My Supervisor tried to make me feel better by reminding me that I had already passed the other two inspections and that I am not required to pass all three! However, in my book....I have to pass all three! I should never settle for par work!! Oh well...I have to just smile and move on!! Next quarter...I WILL pass all three!!

Today was Kasey's follow up appointment for his lump...UGH!!! I am trying to keep my chin up and be positive about this...but just for a minute while I am tucked away in the office of my quiet house...I am going to break! The lump in Kasey's neck has grown significantly since his last appointment. The doctor told us today that it is definately a tumor. He seems to think that it is most likely benign but warned that there is always a possibility of a malignancy. He was really good with Kasey when he was explaining the situation! As the doctor explained to him that what he has is most likely nothing serious and that he can continue to play like he normally would. Kasey was really cute about it....he just said "okay". Once we got in the car Kasey asked me what a tumor was...I basically froze! I explained (in mommy terms) what it was and told him the surgery would be just like the one they did when they removed a lymph node. He point blank asked me if he had Cancer...I boldly said NO!! He said "oh well even if I do..I know I will be fine!! Oh to have the faith of a 9 year old boy!!

We meet with the surgeon on the 24th to have the cat scan done and schedule his surgery!! They will do the bioposy at the time of the surgery! I will for sure keep you updated!!