Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Our family will never be the same!



March 15th, 2010 our family lost the most amazing, loving, compassionate family member ever!! Doc had been having seizures for about 2 weeks before his passing, so we knew it was close. But, nothing could have prepared us for the pain we have felt without him. Maybe I speak more for myself, but I know it has been extremely hard on all of us. With each of his seizures we would all lay around him and pet him, just praying he would pull through..and everytime...he would. Matter of fact, he would just jump up and act like nothing ever happened. Just the day before his passing, he was having a seizure in my room and Kasey went to grab him a treat. When kasey set the treat next to his face...he jumped right up and gobbled it down.
The day he passed away I had cuddled with him that morning, before I went to work. I went to work for a couple hours and came right back home. Then I got a call from work and needed to head back there for just a minute. Well, I guess when we were walking out of the house Doc came out from under the bed. He made it half way through the room and went into a seizure. All three kids were home with him, they gathered around him and tried to talk him through it. Then Kasey went to get him a treat...only this time he didn't get up. Kylie got the kids out of the room, then she layed down next to Doc, pet him and talked to him as he passed away. Kylie doesn't talk much about this experience and I can definitely understand why. After he passed away she walked out of the room, closed the door and calmly went to the neighbors house to call us (her phone wasn't working). When I answered the phone I was helping a customer at work. I said "hello" and Kylie calmly said matter of factly "Doc just died". I dropped the phone, walked away from the customer and just broke down. Luckily, Jeff was there to catch me. Poor customer had no idea what had just happened...my awesome employee knew by my reaction what had happened. She took right over at the store and Jeff and I drove home. When I walked into my bedroom and saw my precious baby laying in his feces and vomit...I felt as though my whole world had come to an end! Jeff and I both layed next to him and pet his now hard body. I was so upset that I wasn't there to comfort him during his passing. Kylie was just SOOO mature through this whole thing. Poor Kennadie said that while he was having the seizure, she could hear him trying to breath. She said "Mommy, he just couldn't catch his breath". Honestly, my children have handled this ten times better than me! Kennadie tells me everyday (even now a month later) not to cry. My heart just aches for him to be by my side!! We burried him in my parents backyard. Right next to Cody(my childhood dog). It used to be called Cody Corner..now it is Dog corner. Words cannot describe the constant ache in my heart. I know he is in a much better place and can run and even jump again! Doc has been there through every single malady that our family has been through in the past 8 years. We actually got him when I was extremely sick and incoherent. The name Doc came from the title Doctor. He was my Doctor through everything...right up on my bed next to me after every surgery, hospital stay and even simple colds. He stuck around to make sure I could stay healthy...simply an amazing companion!! We will surely miss him!!

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